Amelia
by Mynuet
Summary: The life of a future queen isn't always easy, and Amelia can't stay a kid forever. Set after Try, in the same reality as the Triptych continuity.
1. Home again.

[A Note About Chronology: Triptych takes place just after Next, and so Sylphiel is at the Temple all during Try, into the beginning of Rebian Nights. Dav appears just around the end of Try, which is about when the events of Midnight Blue and Into the Desert are happening. After MB, Lina and Gourry visited with Amelia, but when the letter came from Sylphiel saying that she was getting married, they went off to visit her. So now we have two story tracks, Rebian Nights with Sylphiel, Lina and Gourry, and Amelia, with, well, Amelia. The third track, which will be Xellos and Zelgadis, will start being written soon, either when the plot bunny matures in my mind or when I get a fair number of whacks to the head from people who want to read it. Also, a warning about this fic: There will be an attempted rape. It's integral to the story, but I've made the actual scene a separate chapter so that those who prefer to can skip that part. And we now return to our regularly scheduled fic.]  
  
Amelia  
  
by Sharlene  
  
I put my pen down and took a moment to yawn and stretch before the next piece of paper got put in front of me. I looked out the window and smiled. Somewhere out there, the same sun was shining down on Zelgadis, and maybe he was looking at it and thinking of me like I thought about him. After a moment I gestured for the next Councilor to approach my desk.  
  
This was always my least favorite part of coming home, and I had put it off for a couple of weeks while Lina visited and I got acclimatized to the newly crowded palace. Suitors had come from everywhere, many of them sponsored by individual Council members who tried to arrange private meetings for their own candidates. Lina had likened the suitors to cockroaches, crawling out of the woodwork to try to grab what they could. All of them were eager enough to enjoy the hospitality of our palace, demanding exotic and expensive foods, silk sheets and plenty of wine and spirits, but not one lifted a finger to do anything useful. I had tried to suggest several worthwhile projects, but after the first few horrified responses, I learned better than to expect anything from these overdressed buffoons. Not one of them was a man I could respect, let alone love, but I had promised to allow myself to be courted, so I spent the two weeks of Lina's visit laughing at her wisecracks, and after  
she left I simply gritted my teeth and put up with all the foolishness as gracefully as I could. At least resolving disputes and signing proclamations into law was a good excuse to avoid the hordes, even if it was kinda boring.  
  
The next person in line was Councilor Walsin and I gave him a polite smile before I started to read his proposal. Walsin had lived in the palace as long as I could remember, and was the Council member appointed to represent the city of Saillune itself. I could remember sitting on his bony knees at my mother's funeral, since my uncles had been busy trying to keep my daddy calm, and Gracia had already left. Walsin had awkwardly tried to give me a hug, the only time I've ever known him to voluntarily touch another person in public. I had smiled and patted his cheek before giving a speech about how my mommy was with Ceipheed now, working for Good and Justice from the heavens. My daddy had looked up at that and gathered me close to his chest, and I spent the rest of the funeral cradled against his heartbeat.  
  
I gave myself a mental shake and concentrated on reading the proposal. Walsin's writing style was dry and pedantic, and I had to stifle a yawn as I plowed through the compound-complex sentences. From the summary, it seemed that the proposed law would place an upper limit on how much a lord could demand from his serfs as taxes, and how often the taxes could be collected. I'd have to read the details, but it seemed a worthy and long overdue legislation. "Why isn't there a law for this already?"  
  
Walsin's lips tightened slightly, a tremendously demonstrative gesture for him. "It has always been assumed, Your Highness, that each lord will be guided by honor and justice to prevent outrages from happening."  
  
I nodded and returned to reading. Thanks to my travels with Miss Lina and the others, I knew that sometimes, justice needed help before it shone its light into people's hearts. One of my maids entered to inform me that I needed to start preparations for tonight's ball, and I sighed before rolling up the parchment in front of me. Walsin cleared his throat and then said "Your Highness, this matter really is of grave importance. Delaying in signing it could be catastrophic."  
  
"Walsin, you of all people should know I never sign anything without reading it first." I had been seven years old when my training as Heir Apparent had begun. One day, Walsin had found me idly scribbling my name on a stack of papers and had added a piece of paper to the pile. When I was finished, he had gathered them all and plucked out the one that he had added. "Do you know what this says?" I had shaken my head, as he continued, "This paper orders that no child in the kingdom will be allowed to eat any sweets for a week. With your signature, it became a law." Once I got over my initial shock, I had begged him to tear it up. He had agreed, but only on the condition that I give up dessert for the next month. I never again signed anything I hadn't read thoroughly.  
  
Walsin bowed and continued. "I understand, Your Highness, but it is terribly important."  
  
I picked up the parchment and stood. "I promise to read it as soon as I can. If I don't have time today, I'll get to it tomorrow." He looked disappointed, but bowed deeply and offered his best wishes for the evening. I thanked him, as I would need them, then followed the maid to my rooms.  
  
Feeling like a cow being readied for market, I tried not to grimace as my maids went through the ritual of preparing me for the ball being held in my honor this evening. The real reason for the ball was to formally introduce me to the jackals that had been eating me out of house and home for the past month. At least Lina and Gourry were enthusiastic and easy to please in their devouring ways. The pampered freeloaders who called themselves my suitors demanded nothing but the best, throwing food on the floor if it didn't meet their standards, berating the staff for not anticipating every whim that came into their empty heads, their horses eating better grain than some of our citizens did, and in general being noisy, overbearing nuisances. Still, I had to put up with them, since each and every one was sponsored by a member of the Council, and I didn't want to offend the Councilors or seem like I was breaking my word to my daddy by not allowing myself to be courted.  
  
Finally they finished and I looked at myself in the mirror. It's not vanity that makes me say I looked beautiful. My dress was magnificent, an iridescent blue just a shade or two darker than Zelgadis. My skin glowed like a pearl, set off by the dress and the sapphire collar at the base of my neck. My hair was pulled up into an elaborate arrangement topped by a diamond and sapphire tiara. Long earrings dangled to brush my shoulders and I wore elbow length gloves with matching bracelets on both wrists. I looked like a fairy tale princess, and I wanted to cry.  
  
They say you never know what you have until it's gone. The corollary, of course, is that you never know what you're missing until you've had it. I could barely remember my mother and sister, since they had left my life so early on. After my mother died and my sister left, Daddy didn't want me out of his sight, so I never had a nanny like a lot of royal kids do. The closest I'd ever come to having a mother or sister was when one of the maids would take care of me if Daddy was busy, but even then, they were too aware of our respective positions to show anything but deference and respect.  
  
Is it any wonder I developed a massive crush on Lina? Oh, nothing sexual or romantic, but wanting desperately to be liked and in her company. During our last visit, Lina had reminded me of how I acted when we first met, and we laughed together over how much had changed. She and Gourry were gone now, off to visit Sylphiel and her new husband, and I missed her desperately, almost as much as I missed Zelgadis. Dealing with the horde of suitors had been a lot easier when she was there to laugh with, and Gourry would always hover nearby, ready to fetch drinks or make a joke or otherwise make everything seem sunnier just by his nature.  
  
The evening dragged on interminably. I allowed my mind to wander and daydream as I was passed from one flabby, over perfumed, clammy handed suitor to another, the correct smiles and phrases coming from my lips automatically as I pictured Lina whispering her opinion of my dance partner in my ear, or Zelgadis appearing at the palace with a single perfect rose in his hands and declarations of love on his lips.  
  
I came out of my trance when Daddy took my hand and led me out onto the floor. My smile turned genuine and I rested my head on his chest for a brief moment before assuming the correct position for the dance. "I love you, Daddy."  
  
He smiled, his eyes crinkling in familiar and well loved lines. "I love you, too, Amelia." We danced for a few moments, and then he said, "Well, how do you feel? Do any of these boys catch your eye?"  
  
I felt tears trying to well up and forced them down. "No, Daddy. I don't like any of them."  
  
His face got serious as he looked into my eyes. "Amelia, you know I only want what's best for you. I asked you to come home and be courted to give you as many choices as possible, not to make you miserable."  
  
I nodded and squeezed his hand. "I know, Daddy. It's the right thing to do, it's just frustrating to deal with the Council. Each member seems to want me to marry tomorrow to their own candidate. I'd gladly marry the right person immediately, but I don't know any of these men, and what I do know, I don't like much. They all seem like power hungry leeches."  
  
The dance ended with one last twirl. Before anyone else could approach, Daddy kissed my hand and then whispered in my ear, "I can send people to find him, you know. The people I have out there looking for his cure could track him easily."  
  
I threw my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, thinking that I really did have the best Daddy in the world. "No, Daddy, it wouldn't be just to force him into anything. He'll either come to me or he won't, but it will be his decision."  
  
Daddy grumbled in my ear. "It's not really just to break my little girl's heart, either, but I'll leave it up to you." Another Councilor approached, popinjay in tow, and I once again drifted through fantasies while moving through the required paces.  
  
Around midnight, I pled a sick headache and retired, leaving the ball to continue until the last merrymaker dropped in his tracks. It wasn't entirely a lie; the noise and smells of 500 perfumed, laughing, simpering people in one ballroom is a lot to handle. I kicked off my shoes and ripped the tiara from my head, pulling out some of my hair in my impatience. The dress and undergarments ended up piled on the floor as I stepped into a bath, the water hot enough to flay the evening's sadness and frustration from my skin. I felt better afterwards and dried quickly, pulling on the clothes I wore to travel with Lina and the others before quietly going through the doors that connected my rooms to the outside.  
  
Once outside I breathed deeply, taking in all the air my lungs could handle and holding it for an eternal few seconds. I exhaled and it was as if all of my troubles were expelled along with the air. Humming the tune Daddy and I had danced to, I set out on my nightly walk.  
  
After a few minutes, I paused under a weeping willow that was surrounded by white impatiens, giving the impression that it was crying into a pillow. /You and me both, Mister Tree/ I thought, sitting down and resting my head against the trunk to stare out at the small lake.  
  
I don't know how long I sat, staring at the water and letting my thoughts settle into serenity. A laugh and a harsh voice snapped me out of my trance. "Oho, so this is where my little princess has been hiding. Thank you for making this so easy, pumpkin."  
  
I looked at him warily, wondering just how drunk he had to be to speak that way. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't remember if we've met, but I was just about to head back and go to sleep." I was now standing and gauging the best way to pass without going near him.  
  
He moved quickly, grabbing one of my wrists and pulling me towards him to plant a rough kiss on my lips. "Didn't the esteemed Councilor inform you? I'm your future husband." 


	2. Violation.

I felt a chill run up my spine. Whatever else he was, the man wasn't drunk. I had smelled his rotten teeth and his dinner, but there was no trace of alcohol on his breath. "I'm sorry, but I haven't made up my mind as to who I want to marry. If you'd like, I can make arrangements for you to stay at the p-"  
  
"Bitch." He slapped my face, hard, and I could feel blood trickling from where his ring had struck. "You think the paltry quarters I'm in are enough of a sop to offer a man of my caliber? It's an insult, and things will be different when I am king."  
  
I glared at him and started to draw power for a spell. "The position in question is Prince Consort, NOT king, and you are no longer in the running. Unhand me before I administer the burning rage of justice you have brought down on your villainous head."  
  
He smiled, the moonlight glinting off one tooth. His cloth of silver doublet gleamed and I recognized him as one of the suitors Lina and I had laughed at the hardest. I didn't feel much like laughing now. "You won't be so high and mighty once I've had you. You'll beg for more and make me king." He increased the pressure on my trapped wrist, grinding my bones together until I cried out from the pain. This seemed to excite him, and he started to pant heavily as he fumbled with my waistband. I tried to lash out with my foot but he deflected the blow with his free hand and again twisted the wrist he had in his grasp. I heard the snap of bone and knew the situation had gotten infinitely worse, as most spells require physical movements that would be difficult, if not impossible, without the use of my hand.  
  
His grin widened and he pulled a jeweled dagger from a scabbard at his waist. He licked his lips and said, "Let's make this more fun."  
  
Part of my brain was screaming, howling desperately for me to DO something, anything, but I couldn't move. I knew that a cool breeze was hitting breasts as he cut open my tunic, but my mind seemed to be outside my body, watching as if this was happening to someone else. As he was slashing my pants, I mused that he was the polar opposite of Zelgadis. Where Zelgadis had a form many called monstrous, he had the soul of a true prince. This man would be called beautiful by many, but where it counted, he was as twisted and ugly as an ogre from a fairy tale. My body was frozen as he looked at me in nothing but my boots and cloak. He reached for my breasts and I saw my good hand lash out, a solid punch landing on his collarbone without any thought or direction from me.  
  
He spat in my face. "Cunt. How dare you hit me? You're nothing but a worthless whore, just like all your kind." His hand went from my broken wrist to my throat, pressing on my windpipe and bearing me down to the ground, the pressure increasing until I saw spots dancing in front of my eyes.  
  
Just before I blacked out, the pressure eased and I forced my eyes to open, trying frantically to think of anything that would help, that would keep this from happening. His voice was low and silky, a mockery in my ears as his weight crushed me, pinning me as effectively as wheat below a millstone. "Just stay still, pumpkin. You'll like it anyway, and then I'll be king."  
  
"Why are you doing this? I'll never marry you." I tried to speak in a natural tone, trying to distract him. With his body pressed against mine, I could feel that he was nowhere near fully aroused and I hoped to use that to my advantage.  
  
He chuckled, the stench of his breath hitting me like a wave. "You will. He promised that the Council will vote to make you marry the man you seduced into taking your virginity, like the slut you are." As he spoke, lifted his weight to rest on his knees and one hand and brought the dagger to the base of my throat. His body eclipsed the moonlight as the razor sharp point parted my flesh. He dragged the dagger down along my breastbone, leaving a trail of blood to seep out and spread across my chest. He laughed and put the dagger down to run his finger through the cut, the salt of his skin setting the wound on fire as he gathered blood on his fingertips. I gagged as I felt him run bloody fingers over my labia, and I prayed to Ceipheed for deliverance. 


	3. Aftermath.

"Miss, are you all right?" The voice came from just beyond the screen of the willow branches and distracted my attacker for just long enough. I brought my uninjured arm up to press my forearm against his throat while bringing my bent knees from around his legs towards my chest so that his weight was resting on my shins. A strong flexing of my legs and he was lying on the ground. He tried to stand and I smashed my fist into his nose, hearing the crunch of bone and cartilage as he collapsed. I started kicking him, in the crotch, in the stomach, everywhere that was presented as he writhed on the ground. I heard him pleading for mercy but I didn't stop, all the fear and helplessness I had felt turning into a vicious need to make him suffer.  
  
The stranger whose interruption had been an answer to my prayer approached and he put a hand on one of my shoulders. I jerked my head towards him, panting from the exertion, and he blushed and averted his gaze while holding up a white shirt, his pack lying open on the ground behind him. "Miss, I can make sure he doesn't escape while you dress." He looked down at the pitiful figure on the ground and spat at the twitching, sobbing heap. "Although it seems you have begun his chastisement most well, perhaps it would be best if we leave the rest to the proper authorities."  
  
I stepped away and pulled the shirt on, the movements made awkward by my broken and swollen wrist. The stranger's shirt was ridiculously large on me, the sleeves hanging several inches beyond my fingers, the tails reaching just past my knees. The struggle to fasten the buttons and the feel of the soft cotton helped to calm me. "Can you carry this filth, please, sir? I'd like to go home."  
  
The stranger glanced at me, the blood from my chest soaking into the shirt and plastering it to my skin, my wrist swollen to the size of a grapefruit and my face bruised and bloody. "Miss, I will do whatever you wish, but I think you should come with me to the palace. I have heard the princess is kind and skilled at healing. You can get help while bringing this scum to justice."  
  
I reached down and picked up the dagger my would-be rapist had dropped. "I _am_ skilled at healing, but not when my wrist is broken. Please bring him and follow me."  
  
We walked slowly, and I could feel my legs cramping and bruising from the exertion. I looked down and noticed that my shins and thighs were covered with tiny scratches, probably from the cloth of silver. Once in my rooms, I yelled through a closed door for someone to fetch Walsin.  
  
The stranger had dropped his unconscious burden on the polished marble floor and quickly brought me a chair. "Do you wish for me to stay or go, Your Highness?" He bowed low, as respectfully and gracefully as any courtier being introduced to his sovereign. "I am William, Duke of Thornbray, at your service."  
  
I nodded, giving him permission to rise as if I was dressed in state robes and sitting on my throne instead of bleeding on a borrowed shirt. "Please stay. And, after your help this night, you have permission to call me `Amelia'."  
  
"Thank you, Your- er, Amelia. I'm only sorry I couldn't interfere sooner. I was delayed in leaving home, and I have to admit that I dawdled at the last to avoid the formal ball." William blushed, and I thought distantly that it made him look rather handsome.  
  
The door opened and Walsin walked in. The confused expression on his face at being summoned in the middle of the night melted into one of horror and he fell to his hands and knees, vomiting. William moved to help him but Walsin pushed him away, gasping that I was more important as he struggled to his feet and stumbled towards me. I heard him start a healing spell, only to break off with a sob and have to start over again. "I'm all right, Walsin. I need to talk to you before you heal me."  
  
I held a hand up and he grasped it, his hands shaking uncontrollably. I saw a shudder run through him as he tried to get control of himself. "Melly-" He gulped and made another effort to control himself. "Melly, what happened? It... It was like seeing your mother all over again."  
  
"That's why you're here instead of Daddy." It was going to be hard enough for my father to hear about what happened, and I wanted to spare him from as much as I could. I stood and walked to where my attacker was still lying in a heap by the door. "The law has been broken, and you are here to view the evidence against this man and against a member of the council." I described what had happened, both men flinching while my emotionless recitation continued. I held up my broken wrist and peeled the shirt away from where it had stuck to the wound on my chest, the cut reopening and fresh blood seeping over my skin.  
  
Walsin's face was ashen, but he had regained his customary control. "There is more than enough evidence, Your Highness."  
  
"Good." I felt a smile come over my face, the smile that Lina wears when looking over a burning bandit camp. "This is what is going to happen."  
  
-----------  
  
I could hear the Council arguing as I threw open the doors that were traditionally barred to the rulers of Saillune. For over a hundred years, my predecessors had agreed that the Council should be allowed to deliberate without the presence of their ruler impeding their freedom of speech. There was a hush, and then a babble of voices saying that I couldn't be there, that this was an outrage.  
  
I took a deep breath and then raised the Scepter of Majesty, a symbol from time immemorial of the ruler of Saillune. If anyone touched it who was not the true and rightful king or heir to the throne, their hand would burn into ash. No one had touched it since my grandfather had disappeared without naming my father king. The room fell silent as everyone stared at my hand. The doors were still open, a crowd of people gathered around who had followed me from the royal treasury after seeing what I held.  
  
"I am the Princess of Saillune and the Heir Apparent. There is no one to dispute my right." My sister, the only other person who could have a claim to the title, had renounced her claim both by running away and in writing. There might be doubt as to whether the king was my father or my grandfather, but there was no doubt as to my position.  
  
The head of the Council, the Baron of Silverin, was the first to recover, and he strode forward, saying smoothly, "Your Highness, the Council has the right-"  
  
"The Council has no rights." There was a collective gasp of horror as I rounded on the Chief Councilor, moving the scepter to rest just under his chin. "The Council exists on the sufferance of the ruler, and the only rights it has are what the sovereign lord wishes to allow."  
  
The Baron made a gesture and I stepped closer, bringing the scepter to within a hair's breadth of his nose. His eyes crossed as he tried to keep an eye on it and I felt the shadows of two men looming on either side of me. I hissed, "Thank you, my lord Baron, for exposing your confederates."  
  
My friends had often teased me about my justice speeches, groaning when I would launch into one, but they had served their purpose well, as this was to be the most important speech of my life. I pitched my voice so that everyone could hear me and began. "My countrymen, I have shown you that, by divine providence and the will of the gods, I am the true heir to the throne, and will one day be your Queen. Through base villainy, the man who had been entrusted with a portion of the power reserved for my family plotted to bring harm to me and place his puppet on the throne. The name for this is treason, and the punishment is death. The Baron of Silverin has been found guilty and the sentence will be carried out immediately. May the Gods have mercy on his soul." I paused, and, as arranged, Walsin entered the room with a coterie of guards. The Baron and his accomplices were shackled and dragged from the room. The Baron screamed that I couldn't do this, and his men begged for mercy.  
I kept my face expressionless, using the time I had spent watching Zelgadis as a model for a perfectly neutral expression. All eyes were on me and there was perfect silence as the Baron's screams faded into the distance.  
  
"Gentlemen, the Council has existed for hundreds of years to serve as advisors to the throne. It is a grand and important part of Saillune. One of the traditional duties of the Council is to advise on all marriages, in order to assure the proper royal succession. I gave my word that I would return home to allow myself to be courted, and I will not break my word." There was a general relaxation as I paused to let them comfort themselves with the belief that their games would continue. "I did not, however, promise to marry a person I do not find suitable, let alone within a specific time period. I also did not promise to provide a multitude of luxuries to these so-called men who have gathered in my palace."  
  
Walsin produced a lap desk that held a scroll with a small wafer of wax attached to it. I pressed the end of the Scepter into the wax, affixing the royal seal to it. "By this order, any suitor remaining on palace grounds as of noon will be charged for the expense of their upkeep, including room, board and stabling. The merchants of Saillune will not extend credit to any suitor, and non-payment shall be treated as theft under the law." There was a stampede among the crowd outside the door as several of the less solvent suitors ran to collect their things and leave the palace. "Gentlemen, I will make my own choice as to who and when I marry. If the Council tries once more to force my hand, though my heart will break to do it, Justice will require that I dissolve the Council."  
  
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into my daddy's face. I wasn't sure when he had arrived, but his smile reassured me. "My daughter speaks wisely, and I commend her actions today." He bowed to me, and the Councilors noted this and hastily knelt in homage. "May the Gods bless her Highness, and may she continue to be as wise when she is Queen of this kingdom." He straightened and held his arm out. I rested my hand on his elbow and we proceeded out of the chamber, people scattering out of our paths as we walked regally towards my private chambers.  
  
As soon as we weren't completely surrounded by others, Daddy leaned down almost imperceptibly and whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "You _are_ going to explain what all this is about, right?"  
  
I kept my gaze straight ahead and my lips almost immobile as I replied, "Of course, Daddy. Just as soon as we're alone."  
  
To be continued  
  
(Thanks to Stara Maijka and Ryo Hoshi for beta reading, which makes me look better when the final product makes it out to the world at large. See above author's note for update conditions.) 


	4. Duty and hope.

Time passed, as it tends to do. I had explained to Daddy why I had ordered the execution of Baron Silverin and his henchmen and then waited, tensely, for what he would say. I expected that he would either crush me in a hug and tell me everything would be okay or that he would give me his sternest look and scold me on the injustice of taking another human's life.  
  
Instead he sat down heavily on a padded chair, and for the first time I could remember my daddy looked old. Old and tired and bent with the weight of the world on his grieving shoulders. It made me nervous and scared, almost more scared than I had been the night before. My daddy was larger than life! He wasn't supposed to be an ordinary frail mortal. Was it my fault for disappointing him by ordering an execution when our traditions are to rehabilitate criminals? The man who murdered my mother had lived for a year in the castle dungeons before someone broke in and killed him with a freeze arrow through the heart. I've always wondered if my sister decided to impose justice in her own form before running into the night again.  
  
When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and low, and I could see tears that would not be shed glazing his eyes. "It's always a proud moment when a child surpasses the parent, but I wish- I wish that I was a better man, a more complete one, so that I could do what needs to be done." He sighed heavily and pulled me towards him, his head on a level with my stomach as he hugged me close. "My precious daughter, you will be a better ruler than your old father."  
  
This did NOT sound like Daddy. Where were the buckets of emotional tears, the loud voice, the overwhelming and enfolding bear hug that always made me feel protected and cherished? "Don't talk like that, Daddy. You're a great ruler, and you're not old."  
  
He smiled, the corners of his mouth turning up and in and making his mustache bristle. "No, I'm not old yet, and I do my best to rule in a peaceful and just manner." He reached up and ruffled my hair and I sat down on his knee, relieved to see some of my daddy's normal cheer return.  
  
After a moment of hugging, he pulled me back slightly so he could look in my eyes. I sobered at the seriousness of that look, the same look that had accompanied his explanation to me long ago about what my position as heir entailed. "Amelia, I wish I could let your childhood continue, but your taking up the scepter and dealing with Silverin has shown that you are capable of taking up more of the duties of ruling."  
  
I would have spoken, probably to say something childish, like 'I'm not a child', but he continued. "I hate politics. If I hadn't met your mother, I would have renounced the throne and become a wandering priest. I don't regret for one moment the decision I made, because it brought me your mother and Gracia and you. I have tried to do my best for the kingdom, and I hope I'll be able to do more good before it's time for me to be with your mother again."  
  
He smiled again, this time a rueful grin that seemed out of place on my super confident daddy. "The thing is, Melly, I have some faults. I can't stand the thought of killing, even if sometimes it's what should be done. I'm sometimes impulsive, and I get the urge to wander sometimes, even though the council would much prefer a ruler who stays in one place."  
  
I nodded absently, trying to figure out what he was getting towards. "You're also a lousy judge of character, and you don't read enough of the proclamations you sign, and you forget things when you get enthusiastic, and...."  
  
I broke off when his rumbling laugh burst forth, almost knocking me off his lap. "Spare a kind thought to your poor old father, Amelia, and stop to take a breath while listing my flaws." I blushed and looked down, embarrassed by having criticized so much without thinking about it. He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face so that I looked into his loving, happy eyes. "What do you say, Amelia? Are you ready to take on all these boring administrative duties that make the kingdom run?"  
  
I hesitated. "You're not stepping down, are you?"  
  
He laughed, a big booming belly laugh that was so infectious I couldn't resist laughing with him. "No, not for many years to come. Someday, when you're ready and you want me to, I will, but for now I want you to take on more responsibility so that you're ready to be the best ruler Saillune has ever had when it is the right time."  
  
I had laughed and agreed, throwing my arms around him and calling him the best daddy ever. True to his word, he'd turned over more and more of the day to day running of the kingdom to me. At first he supervised me closely to ensure I didn't make any mistakes that would hurt our people, but gradually he had stepped back to let me take more and more control. As the weeks passed and turned into months, I discovered something I had never suspected about myself.  
  
I loved politics.  
  
Every backstabbing, double dealing, underhanded and conniving minute of it. Crooked council members were _nothing_ compared to Lina trying to get a free meal. Explaining a proposed law to a bored audience was worlds easier than explaining to Gourry what had happened the day before. As for diplomacy, no one, but no one, could equal the stone face that I had learned from Zelgadis. To someone who had faced down Dark Lords, a peasant uprising was child's play.  
  
Most of the suitors had disappeared. The few that had remained were mostly nice, and made sure they paid their bills on time. I had made a point of spending some time with each one at least once a week, scrupulously upholding my promise to allow myself to be courted. Still, with each one I would find myself thinking of Zelgadis, wishing it were his hand bringing me flowers, his hand holding mine while dancing.  
  
The best, or worst, was William. I liked him very much. He had a dry sense of humor that made me fight to keep a straight face when the joke went over other people's heads, but he also had a sense of the ridiculous that let him pretend to be a cat while playing with some of the servants' children. Instead of presenting bouquets of roses, he would surprise me with a pot of violets that mysteriously appeared in my room, or a bunch of tulips and daffodils snagged while walking through the gardens. He was always careful to be respectful of my position while making me feel like he saw me, not my title. I got to know his quirky smile like it was my own, for his face was always radiating genuine good cheer. He would be an excellent Prince Consort, and Daddy and Uncle Christopher genuinely liked him.  
  
I wondered often why I didn't love him.  
  
He was nicer than Zelgadis. I believe he would cut out his own tongue before he spoke harshly to me. He treated me like a delicate flower, while respecting my authority and independence. If considered dispassionately, he was handsomer than Zelgadis; he was taller, his muscles better defined, with a firm square jaw and features that the court painter had described as exquisite. I should have been in love with him, sighing over his every move.  
  
Instead I dreamed about a man with blue stone for skin who had never given me a single flower, never once said that he cared about me. Zelgadis had never made me any promises, and as the time slipped by I wondered whether he would come within the year I had given him, and what I would do if he didn't. Could I marry William when my heart didn't race and skip a beat when he was near? Would the affection and liking I felt be enough, or would it breed hatred because his love wasn't returned full measure?  
  
I regretted my ultimatum, because I knew in my heart I could not even think about marrying anyone else when my heart and soul cried for a man who hates himself so much he doesn't see that he's loved. It wouldn't be fair, to Zelgadis, to William, or to me. And so I wait, filling my days with duty and hope. There's still a little time for him to come, and I have important things to do.  
  
  
  
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Where would we be without an author's note? Stara Maijka remains a truly wonderful person, and I hope she never tells me to stop sending her stuff. Majo-chan, SpaceElf, Ryo and Kelly-chan all calmed me down when I started freaking out about characterization, and their help is much appreciated. I've been obsessed with IRC and downloading new anime lately, so my writing has suffered, but I'm getting back to it. Being threatened with pointy farm implements will do that...  
  
This fic is dedicated to Lauren-sama, who has reviewed each and every one of my Slayers fics, and is truly great about leaving reviews for others. The fact that she's _also_ a good writer with a deft touch for light Z/A romantic comedy is a bonus. Thanks, Lauren/Missitar, for being so cool. 


	5. Proposal

There are times for everyone when it's best to be alone. That's one of the things in which a princess is worse off than a commoner, since time alone for the royal heir is a rarity that's hard to get and never lasts long. Today I had needed to be alone, and I had snuck into one of the garden courtyards scattered throughout the palace. It's one of the lovelier spots in Saillune, with delicate stone arches that hold up a canopy so delicate, it looks like filigree. Roses and ivy climb all over the walls and arches, and hang down from the edges of the canopy in a wild waterfall of color. The perfume of the flowers adds to the air of mystery and serenity imparted by the light filtering through the canopy, and the fact that it's entirely surrounded by the private apartments of the royal family gives it a measure of solitude that can be hard to find anywhere else.  
  
I sighed and broke a rose off of its vine, staring at the red-black center of the showy blossom as if it held the answer to all my troubles. I noticed a presence and broke off my reverie, smiling as I recognized William's friendly face. I gestured to the space beside me on the bench and he sat down in silence, content to leave me to my thoughts until I was ready to talk. That sense of ease and patience makes him one of the very best listeners I've ever encountered. Finally, I broke the silence. "This was my mother's garden. My sister and I helped her plant it, and for years the three of us were the only ones who set foot in here."  
  
William half rose, and looked at me in concern. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on a private spot."  
  
I waved him down, smiling, but feeling tears building along my eyelashes. "It's okay. I think I need company, after all."  
  
He sat down, and we were quiet for a while longer. A bee buzzed lazily from flower to flower and I let my thoughts drift again. After a while, he said, "I used to have a brother. He would've liked this place, I think."  
  
"What happened to him?" I spoke quietly, and he shrugged, an all over jerking motion that was the first graceless thing I'd ever seen him do.   
  
"Our grandfather took him away when we were still little. He's probably dead, but there's no way to know for sure." He stood and walked to the nearest arch, leaning over to smell a particularly showy blossom. I almost missed his soft, "Not knowing is the worst."  
  
"My sister's been gone for eleven years now. Today's her birthday." I twirled the rose around in my fingers, not sure why I was talking about Gracia now. Maybe because it felt like he would understand. "She's been gone so long, I can't even call her face to mind anymore without looking for her portrait. I don't have her in my memory as much as I have flashes of memory. Her height, the way her hair smelled when she'd lift me up on her shoulders, her laugh when she was puffing off her importance... Little things, but it's all I've got."  
  
William sat on the ground and leaned his back against one of the arches. "I remember Daniel too well sometimes. He was my hero and I wanted to be just like him." I nodded and he continued. "I couldn't walk when I was little. I had been born with a deformed leg and putting any weight on it was painful. Daniel... He made it okay. He made a chair with wheels on it so I could move around, and anywhere the chair couldn't go, he'd carry me."  
  
He broke off, staring up at the canopy. I found a handkerchief to sniffle into, as the story was just too beautiful to resist crying. After a minute, he cleared his throat and started again. "I wish I could've seen him again, or know where he's buried so I can take flowers to his grave."  
  
I sniffled and nodded, understanding completely how he felt. I still scrutinized the face of every tall, dark haired woman I saw, wondering and hoping and afraid. William looked up at my sniffle and gave a lopsided smile. "Would it help if I admitted he wasn't perfect? Daniel - never Danny, but Daniel - had an arrogant streak, and lorded it over me that he was smarter than I am."  
  
I gave a watery chuckle and wiped my eyes. "Maybe he met Gracia and they're currently engaged in a battle of egos, then."  
  
William laughed, his teeth flashing white. I felt my heart warm as the pain I'd carried for years lightened by being shared. I sent a prayer to heaven for Gracia and lifted my face towards the dappled light. I felt William lift my hand to his lips and I looked at him quizzically. His face had turned serious, but showed traces of the laughter that always came to him so readily.  
  
"Amelia, will you marry me?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(No more until I finish writing the companion piece, The Road to Recovery, which will also require I do some work on Rebian Nights. Please do not hurt the author. In the meantime, go read 'An Ignominious End' by Flarn, or 'Midnight Blue' by Kaitrin - http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=481065 and http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=850617 respectively. They're some of my favorite fics from lately, and I need reinforcements on my quest to beg for more.) 


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